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How to Help a Child with Anger Issues

Elsa Updated on Sep 23, 2023 Filed to: Parent Control

A child getting angry maybe several times a day isn't a bad thing that you should actually be worried about as a parent. However, if they tend to have very impulsive behaviours when angry, like overreacting and doing stupid things just to settle scores or simply to react, you should be worried.

help a child with anger issues

If your child has such explosive behaviour, then helping them deal with their anger issue is essential. This will help them avoid getting into unnecessary problems that may even affect you as a parent. It also gives them the power to control their emotion; therefore, they can't be easily manipulated by others.

Now, here are 6 tips on how to help a child with anger issues:

6 Effective Ways to Help a Child with Anger Issues

There are numerous ways to help kids handle their anger issues. But here, we will share and discuss the only practical and effective ways you can adopt to help your kid with their anger issue.

1. Encourage Outdoor Fun (Active play and Exercise)

Helping your kids release tension and anxiety and boost their mood is an effective way to solve anger issues among kids. This can easily be achieved through interactive play or exercises that help reduce their anger and boost their overall mood.

Remember, just like us (adults), kids can accumulate stress and frustration one way or another. So, how do you usually solve this problem when you happen to find yourself in it? A jog or nature work, right?

Well, that's the same case for kids as well. The reason is simply that physical activity triggers the release of endorphins – the feel-good hormones and through this, they can quickly calm down:

A short walk, jogging, cycling or playing catch in the backyard are some of the active plays and exercises that help your kids manage their anger issues.

So, as a parent, you can enrol your child in sports or involve them in fun games like soccer, basketball, or even just playing catch in the backyard. Ensure the game or physical activities you create are fun and interactive. You can do this by incorporating their favourite games, challenges, or their favourite music to keep them engaged.

2. Develop a Calm-down Plan for Your Child

When your child goes wild with anger, what steps do you take to cool them down? If you don't have effective steps, then you need a calm-down plan specifically for your child.

Developing this plan is crucial for parents because it helps children learn how to manage their emotions.

This plan helps promote healthy coping strategies to deal with their anger. So, instead of your kid resorting to negative behaviours like throwing objects when upset, a Calm-Down Plan encourages them to engage in positive and healthy coping activities.

Your plan should contain practical calming skills or activities such as:

  • Colouring
  • Counting to 10
  • Quick walk
  • Playing with calming toys
  • Repeating positive phrases (like; Calm down, I'm better than this or This isn't worth it) can also be helpful

By teaching your child what to do when they feel angry or frustrated, you're helping them learn self-regulation. The plan also encourages children to take responsibility for their emotional well-being. For example, having a designated calming corner or a kit empowers them to recognize their emotions and take proactive steps to manage them.

Overall, incorporating a Calm-down plan into your parenting strategy can be a valuable tool. This is simply because it will help your child develop essential emotional regulation skills, thus promoting a healthier family environment.

3. Be a Positive and Supportive Parent

Showing support not only when it comes to their studies or extracurricular activities isn't enough. Yes, it is good and essential, but not enough more so when you are dealing with an explosive kid.

If you've already shown your child several ways to manage their anger and you happen to notice them when they are trying to execute them, then you should show support.

Remember, you're like their superhero; they look up to you. Therefore, whenever your child tries to tackle their anger by themselves, even if it's just a tiny step, cheer them on. You can give them a simple response like:

'Well, I like that, or that's good.'

In simple terms, no matter how small the effort they're putting in may seem, tell them how awesome they are for doing so.

Why does this matter? You may wonder!

Well, it is simply because doing so is like giving your child a secret confidence boost. When you cheer them on, they start to believe in themselves, meaning they will be encouraged to keep going. They will probably think something like, 'Hey, I can actually handle this anger thing!' And guess what? You are definitely helping them manage their anger issues.

4. Be the Cool Captain (Stay Cool)

Remember, you're their captain in the quest to tackle their anger issues. This means your reaction and input will dictate their progress.

And so, when faced with a raging child, don't yell back because if you do so, then it will make your child even more upset and wild. But when you stay calm, you are sending the right message. You are showing them a way to steer smoothly through the chaos, and that running wild doesn't make sense.

Your child will see this and think, 'Wow, Captain Cool is handling things, so maybe I should calm down too.' Isn't this great?

So, in general, you should always stay cool and help show your child how to keep their emotions steady, too.

5. Don't Give in to Their Demands or Tantrums

Some kids tend to go wild when denied something. For example, your kid wants to play Fortnite, but then you tell them 'NO' go do this or that. In this case, they might react so hard and refuse to do what you want them to – some even start crying loudly or throwing stuff around.

So, keep in mind that when your child starts raging, they might want something to make them stop.

Therefore, it's important not to give in to their wishes to make them stop. If you give in, trust me, you are creating a new nightmare for yourself. In fact, doing so teaches them that this behaviour works and is tolerated. And so, they might do it again in the future, and just like that, stopping them will become a huge problem.

Instead of giving in to their wishes, it's better that you address the behaviour and explain why it's not okay, and if they do so, they might get grounded or punished.

6. Set Penalties

If your child does stupid and dangerous stuff like throwing things or breaking utensils out of anger, you should follow through with consequences. If you execute what you said you would do when they do that stupid thing again, then next time, they will be cautious.

For example, if you tell your kid that if they act out of anger again, you will take their favourite game console or toys, and you take them when they do so, then they will be afraid to let anger get the best of them.

Why is this important? Well, it:

Teaches Them Right from Wrong: When you're consistent with consequences, it helps your child understand that certain behaviours, like aggression or disrespect, are not okay.

Helps Them Learn: If your child breaks the rules you have set for them regarding their anger, there should be a consequence each time. What this does is that it helps them learn that actions have consequences.

So, what are some of the things you can do as a parent?

  • You can use time-out or take away something they like (like screen time) when they misbehave.
  • If they break something in anger, you can have them help fix it or do chores to earn money to repair it.

Overall, as a parent, the key to this strategy being effective is to be consistent not only with one kid but with every other kid to avoid complacency and biases.

Final Thoughts

To wrap it up, it is worth noting that helping a child with anger issues isn't an easy journey but a journey filled with understanding, patience, and love. By encouraging active play, offering positive support, staying calm, and using effective discipline, we can give our children the tools they need to navigate their emotions and build resilience.

Another key point to keep in mind is that we are all different, and that same can be said when it comes to our kids. Build a relatable anger management plan explicitly suited to your kids, and remember that progress might take more time for some kids than it is for others. Another thing is that you should ensure you show some understanding for your kid's anger issue and try to find out what is behind their explosive behaviour.

With your unwavering support, they can learn to manage their anger, grow emotionally, and develop into confident, well-adjusted individuals.

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Elsa has worked on a number of iOS & Android solutions, she can always find her way around almost any application. She is an accomplished, skilled and versatile writer with more than 7 years of technical article writing experience.
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